Eggs, Especially Scrambled

I know a lot of people have problems with eggs.

Gah, I mean the problem of cooking the eggs, obviously.

I've been blessed with the gift of egg-cookery and have only had a problem with them once (the first time I made breakfast for Michael, go figure). And I feel fine bragging about this because I still remember the time I completely ruined brownies. Just ask my sister Maddie. There were NOT edible, not even close. Nasty tar things.

Anyway, here are some things I've learned about eggs.

• They will keep cooking even after they're removed from the pan! Don't be afraid to set them on a plate a little ahead of time. The heat's still working in them.
• I have been told to never use high heat with eggs. But I'm impatient (and for the longest time, using lower heat always led to burning my eggs--yeah, who knows). So when I use high heat, I never stop stirring. Keep the eggs moving! They'll be done very quickly, so dump them on a plate as soon as you can.
• MOST of the time (now that I've figured it out), I use medium heat. Put either a little slice of butter or cooking spray in your pan first. I like to use butter, because it's easier to tell when the pan is hot and ready. As soon as the butter is sizzling (don't let it brown), put your eggs in. Don't put them in any sooner than that.
• When using medium heat to scramble your eggs, be attentive. You don't have to stir quite as vigorously as with high heat, but don't let the eggs sit in one spot for long. That makes them lump (and then they seem to cook harder, not as fluffy).
• I don't like to premix my eggs. Not for scrambled eggs. I love the texture and color from tossing the eggs in as they are, not with the whites all mixed into the yolks. I think it "scrambles" better.
• If you want creamier eggs, add a little milk. But don't use milk if you want your eggs more fluffy (of course it's a matter of opinion--I think fluffy is better).
• When adding grated cheese (yum!), wait till the eggs seem to be nearing the point you'd call them "done," and then toss the cheese on. Stir it in a little, and once it's satisfactorily melted enough, toss your eggs on a plate.
• I make the eggs last among the various breakfast items if I can help it. Hot eggs are infinitely better than cooled, and freshly hot eggs are much tastier (and a better texture) than eggs that have been sitting covered. If you must cover your eggs--since timing doesn't always happen right--put a paper towel over them and then cover with a plate. The paper towel absorbs the condensation from the heat so that your eggs won't get sweaty. Ew.

Now here are some basic egg tips--not so specific to scrambling:

• Don't use dirty, cracked or leaking eggs. They may have become contaminated with germs and nasty stuff like that. It's just a smart idea to toss those.
• ALWAYS check the eggs in the carton at the grocery store! When I finally cared to do that, I was amazed how many cartons had cracked eggs!
• Turn the eggs so that the large end is up in the carton so they don't absorb refrigerator odors. I know, it sounds so weird. But they also last a little longer this way...for some reason. Eggs can be stored up to 5 weeks after the packing date.
• If a piece of shell drops in when you crack your egg, use the larger shell piece to fish it out. It's the best thing to pierce through the yolk and white.
• Raw egg whites can be stored in a tight container for up to 4 days (I like to put sticky notes on time-sensitive leftovers in my fridge with the date they must be used by--also a label of what it is if it looks strange!). You can also freeze egg whites in a freezer container for up to ONE YEAR!
• Always wash hands, utensils and countertop after working with eggs. Treat them like meat in this way--don't share the utensils used on eggs for anything else.
• Refrigerate cold/leftover eggs immediately (and reheat completely before using).
• Hard-boiled eggs in their shells can be stored in the fridge for up to 7 days.

Oh dear. No. I just remembered one other time I had a problem cooking eggs...it was an egg casserole, and my pregnantness just thought it was the best idea ever to use hamburger since we had no sausage. My first serving was delicious. And then somehow the flavors all set in and I realized how disgusting it was... and I nearly barfed every time I looked at the dish. Or even thought of it. And seriously, that wasn't just my pregnantness--Michael felt the same way!